A. The Beard Team USA National Beard and Moustache Championships are being held here in Bend, OR in a few weeks. Don’t ask me why – I don’t know. But it’ll make for some fun news headlines, I’m sure.
B. My money is on this guy for the Freestyle category:
My mother-in-law just pointed me to the Yike Bike, a “A radical new electric bicycle … expected to transform the way urban commuters navigate congested cities.”
And I have to admit, it looks really cool! … or really stupid. I can’t decide which. My first thought was, “Why would you make a carbon-fiber tricycle,” because that’s sorta what it looks like (in spite of having only two wheels). But that was soon over-shadowed by the reaction I had when I dug a little deeper, which was, “What, this again?”
Yup, the YikeBike is, for all intents and purposes, just another Segway. Both offer high-tech solutions to the problem of getting around in an urban environment. They feature the latest in battery technology, regenerative breaking, composite construction, and both have a top speed of ~20km/hr. There are differences of course. The Segway’s range of 20km gives it the edge over the YikeBike (a paltry 10km), while the YikeBike’s folding design makes it a much better choice for commuters. But the most striking similarity is the price. The YikeBike will set you back a cool $4,700 (which happens to about what the Segway originally cost).
And there’s the rub. All that fancy tech costs a pretty penny. Unfortunately it doesn’t actually do all that much for you because getting around in urban environments is not a difficult problem to solve. You don’t need a lot of high tech gadgetry and industrial design. All you need is a couple wheels, rechargeable battery, motor, brakes, and a handlebar. Bolt ‘em together and you have yourself an electric scooter, of which there are literally dozens of makes and models already on the market. $200 will get you a Razor E300 (range: 10km, top speed: 25 km/hr… sound familiar?) which, aside from it’s weight (20kg) is just as portable as the Yike Bike. And if you’re willing to spend a bit more, you can get the Go-Ped IPed for $1,400. Yeah, that price starts to sting, but it’s still 1/3rd the cost, and weighs only 12kg. That’s a little more than the YikeBike, but you get much better range (15 km) and speed (30km/hr).
So, props to Yike Bike for inspiring industrial design, but I’m not seeing this getting much of a following. The company is targeting a market that simply doesn’t exist. Or, at least, doesn’t exist here in the U.S. Unlike Segway the Yike Bike is being launched in Europe. Who knows, maybe those crazy Europeans see things a little differently. But somehow I suspect the story will be the same. There just aren’t that many people with $5K to drop on a gizmo that will only take them on a 3-mile round trip.
Like the good, responsible, post-millennium, Gen-X, yuppies my wife and I are, we try to do our part not to be too conspicuous in our consumption. But, boy, sometimes it’s pretty damn difficult.
Take, for example, our cell phones. They’re old and beat up but they work well enough, except the batteries are toast; gotta recharge ‘em after pretty much every phone call now. *sigh*. So I’m scrounging around the internet for new batteries (like I did last month for the DustBuster, and the month before that for our WaterPic, and the month before that for my cordless drill, and…and…and… *sigh*)
Anyhow, the replacement battery market is basically one giant fucking scam. Pardon my french. You more or less have two options: buy direct from Motorola, where batteries cost $50/per, or buy shady “OEM original” versions on Ebay, where they cost 99¢.
In the former case you’re guaranteed a good battery, but you’re also guaranteed to feel like a complete chump for paying a 500% markup. The latter case is little better. Odds are good you’ll still feel like a chump when you discover you’ve wasted 99 perfectly good cents (+$4.99 shipping, what???) on a battery that’s completely dead anyhow. Either that or the battery will cause your phone to explode into a fiery hell from which an unending stream of demons bent on extinguishing all mortal life will emerge. At least, that’s what the Internet says might happen.
So since nobody wants to feel like a chump, we’re forced to look for alternatives. Which means either re-upping the contracts we have with our mobile providers – “hey, they’ll give you a phone for free!”† – or turning to EBay where, surprise, you can get a brand new phone + battery for about what a new battery would cost from the manufacturer. Of course the obvious consequence there is that you’ll soon be pitching your perfectly good (albeit old and worn) phone in the trash nearby e-recycling center that’s oh so convenient to find/use.
(† requires 2-year commitment, at new rates, generally costing at least $200 more over the life of the contract.)
Of course if you have any sort of moral code, you’ll eventually realize what the environmental cost of throwing away your cell phone every two years is, and feel like an even bigger (say it with me now!)… chump.
Welcome to Consumerism 2.0.
Keeping to my theme of, “‘Loving Fatherhood, but Not Getting Gushy About It”:
And, yeah, I don’t know why they don’t have this stuff on the Cartoon Network either.
I used to consider myself a voracious reader, back when I was in my teens and twenties. I devoured science fiction at a pretty good rate. However as I’ve gotten older I am reading less and less. The problem, largely, is that I simply don’t have the stamina I used to. Most of my reading is done in the evening as a way of coaxing myself into going to sleep. However that evening reading that used to last thirty minutes, an hour or more if the book was really good, now rarely lasts more than a minute or two. My eyelids slam shut almost immediately, and I drop my book on the floor, scaring the crap out of wife and dog alike. But me, I’m fast asleep by the time they think to chastise me.
I guess it’s not so much that I’ve gotten worse at reading, but that I’ve honed my going-to-sleep skills to perfection. Regardless, I do miss tearing the days when I regularly devoured a book a day. A book a week, or even a month, is more the norm now.
So it’s with pleasure that I’ve found a new author and book series that has resurrected my inner bibliophile. Bernard Cornwell’s novels chronicling the exploits of British infantryman, Richard Sharpe, are, admittedly, a bit formulaic – each of the 20+ books contains equal parts, adventure, intrigue, mayhem, and romance – but they are fun reads, well-suited to airplane travel or nighttime indulgence. And they contain enough real history to indulge satisfy those readers that would normally disdain the fair found on airport bookshelves. (*ahem*)
The series takes place around the time of the Napoleonic Wars (early 1800′s), when Britain is in conflicts in Europe and India, and follows the career of Sharpe as he claws his way up through the ranks of the British Infantry. At the time, officers in Her Majesty’s military are chosen based not by their military prowess, but instead by how much money they had. Commissions are bought for considerable sums and paid for. However Sharpe is neither noble nor privileged. Far from it, he is a rough rogue spat out of London’s nastier streets and orphanages, and begins his career as a Private. His ascent to into the officer’s ranks is unlikely, and nets him more than one enemy.
In each book, Sharpe is immersed in the tensions and politics leading up to a pivotal battle, things for which he has surprisingly little regard given the influence they have on his life. His attention is instead reserved for the men and women closer to hand. To his friends, Sharpe is devoted, to his enemies, he is merciless, and to his lovers? Well, you’ll just have to find out for yourslef. His life is nothing if not a constant struggle against seemingly impossible odds.
Cornwell’s style and pacing makes for easy reading. I’m about halfway through the series, and devouring them at a pace that’s brought a smile to my face. And to my wife’s too, I suppose; for at least a few weeks she and the dog get to enjoy bedtimes unpunctuated by the sound of falling books.
[UPDATE: While there are made-for-television versions of these books, starring Sean Bean (an actor I like), they are horrible. I strongly recommend you avoid watching these if you have even the slightest desire to read the books. The production quality is extremely poor and the dumbed-down plot lines butcher the original stories.]